Soliloquy in the Dark
by Shinisin
Summary: Angstful vegeta/Bulma fic
1. Default Chapter

# 

(Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. If you wanna sue, please do. I can use you for target practice. Evil grin)

There was tension in the air. Vegeta had sensed it since midday and knew a storm was on the way. A big one. It had made him feel restless and violent all day. He sighed heavily and looked out into the darkening sky. The clouds were gathering, fast and black, and the wind was beginning to pick up. Outside, it was violent and wild. He could hear the sound of the approaching thunder in the distance and lifted his head into the wind, to smell the air. It smelt wet, damp with the approaching rain and heavy clouds. He had sat on top of the roof for well over an hour now. He was hugging his knees, pulled up underneath his chin, looking up slightly and his hair moved in the wind. He was thinking about his past. And the future. And his own failure.

There was no point in trying to deny it to himself any longer. He had failed. He was a failure. His life wasn't supposed to be like this. None of it had. He was supposed to have grown up, overthrown his father and taken the role of King. He was supposed to be the first Super-Saiyan in 300 years. It had been his destiny till Frieza. It seemed like yesterday, the downfall of his hopes. He had thought he was a Super-Saiyan. He was meant to be a Super-Saiyan. It should have been him. His temper flared and he stood up against the oncoming wind.

"It was **MY** birthright, Kakkarott." He yelled to the sky. "Why was I denied it? Couldn't the fates have at least given me that before sentencing me to this living hell? Frieza's life belonged to me. He took mine…why couldn't I take his?"

He stood there, fists clenched, head back and eyes closed. He listened, as the storm got nearer.

******************************************************

Bulma was also listening out, but not for the storm. She was listening to the sound of Yamcha begging her to take him back. She had dumped him for the final time a few nights ago, after she had seen him go up to another woman and begin flirting with her in town. She had been making her way to his house when she saw him go up to her. They had ended up walking away, arms linked. She had confronted him, without yelling, told him it was over and walked off. She didn't cry for long when she got home. She had suspected that he was cheating on her a while a go and had had the full-blown hysterics then. She remembered that night.

_*Bulma had run through the kitchen and into her bedroom, crying. She threw herself onto the bed and screamed her misery into the pillows. Her screams slowly tapered off into sobs and she wept till her eyes were red. She lay there, quiet, but tears still ran down her face. It was then that she heard the voice, soothing and comforting her. It was a voice she hadn't heard before, and she suddenly realized it was in her head. She looked up and towards the doorway and saw nothing but a shadow move quickly away. She was going to investigate when the voice started singing to her, in a language she had never heard before. It was a woman's voice, singing a soft lullaby and it lulled her to sleep. *_

Bulma let the phone drop. She heard Yamcha's voice carry on begging her to take him back as she walked upstairs to her room. She left it behind like she left her old life. It was time for something new. She opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony, looking into the sky. She saw the storm coming and was slightly afraid. She knew she had storm proofed everything, but still… She heard screaming. She listened hard, slightly scared until she made out the words. 'He took mine…why couldn't I take his?' It finally dawned on her. Vegeta was on the roof! The storm was getting nearer. The wind began to moan. _*Is he suicidal or something?_ * She asked herself, as she ran up to the loft and opened the skylight. He was stood there, head back, fists clenched. His hair flew back against the gradually increasing wind, like the mane of a horse. Her breath caught in fear and awe. The storm was getting closer. Vegeta's fury was almost tangible. Beneath it she felt an undercurrent of shame and sorrow that was so deep it cut. She called out to him. He had to get inside. "VEGETA!!!"

******************************************************

Her voice, shrill against the on coming wind, still carried to his overly sensitive ears. He turned to see the woman, leaning half out of the skylight, her hair whipping in the wind. He could see her fear, he could even feel it. Why was she afraid? Of the storm? For him? Why? He didn't deserve it. He was a fake, a mistake, his whole life was a lie, he was nothing, it didn't even matter that he wasn't blown up with his planet. He was expendable, dispensable, unneeded, unwanted. A killer born of another's hand. He didn't deserve forgiveness. He deserved NOTHING. The wind howled.

******************************************************

Bulma shivered as Vegeta turned an incalculable look on her. He seemed so angry, but even more desolate at the same time. She gulped more as his piercing gaze went right through her, as if he was focusing on something else. His aura began to grow. She could see it, blue first, then purple, blazing into white followed by yellow that silhouetted his body. Suddenly, he leapt off the roof. She screamed and then saw him shoot off. "VEGETA. BAKA." She yelled. He was heading into the storm?!?!?!?! The wind screamed.

******************************************************

Vegeta flew through the rain, which did nothing to cool his temper. He felt nothing. His mind was clear. His anger had grown and broken over him, like a wave through a dam. He lost all conscious thought and instead let his instinct take over. He flew nearer the storm; the wind reached a crescendo, the rain pelted harder. The thunder rolled in his ears and he swerved to dodge the first chord of lightning the storm played his way. As he got nearer, he barrel-rolled and swooped, ducking and dodging the increasingly frequent strikes of lightning. He entered the tempest.

******************************************************

Bulma stood shaking. She clung to the sill as the wind made the window creak. She watched as Vegeta sped towards the storm, his anger parallel to that of the raging tsunami's. He gained such speed! She gasped as he narrowly avoided a sharp bolt of lightning that earthed itself into the ground. She watched, mesmerized as he weaved through the random bolts flung at him from the steely gray clouds. It appeared that he was dancing among the bolts, with the random arrows of electricity flung his way. He suddenly caught a pang of emotion from him, what he was thinking at the time so strong, that it was transmitted to her. * OH KAMI. WHY? I'M NOT WORTH ANYTHING * She could only watch, blindly as the storm swallowed him.

******************************************************

Vegeta screamed his feelings into the midst of the storm. He screamed the words in a long forgotten language, one that he had last heard before the devil had taken him. He used Saiyago, to express his anger, which was all he felt, all he could feel. It had been a language of warriors, royalists, a proud race, a tough race, and it reflected this in its dark syllables and proud inflections. It had become degraded, demolished, broken like he was. Empty and reflective. He screamed again, a curse against himself, his maker and fate. He then screamed louder, as an un-sensed bolt of lightning hit his left side. He was letting his emotions make him careless. He plunged through the clouds, up and up, till he hovered, panting, above the roiling storm.

******************************************************

Bulma sat blankly in the kitchen. A cup of coffee sat in front of her, steaming slightly, untouched. Her hands wrapped round it. * _Drawing out warmth? Keeping it warm?_ * She stared into it, not really seeing it, listening as the rain beat down on the rooftop. She thought of everything. She thought of nothing. * _White swirls in the black_. * She thought, absently. She picked up the teaspoon and stirred it, then watched as the milk marbling the coffee dispersed, mingling with the drink. She stopped and looked again. _* White coffee. * _

She stared out the window.

******************************************************

It was quiet up here. The wind blew freely, flowing coldly. The storm boiled beneath his feet. Angry. Violent. Vicious. * _When I die…_ * he thought, amongst the faint hum. * _Will my soul be like this?_ * He thought longer. "No." he said, in Saiyago. "My soul is like this now." Unsettled. Unpredictable. Raw. "Does…" he said slowly, thinking it out. "Does my soul…exist? Now? In some…secret part of me?" This question didn't need to be asked. He already knew the answer. "No." The devil had taken that as well, long ago.

Vegeta shook his head. The pain had made him philosophical. Vegeta's energy lowered. The storm began to ebb.

(That's all for now, sorry. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible for you peeps okay? I also need a bit of help in the form of ideas for the rest of the storyline. I'm not really sure where it's going, tho' I have a vague idea. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.)


	2. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Two

**Soliloquy in the Dark**

**Chapter Two**

(You lucky, lucky people. I decided to post chapter two now. There are two reasons for this. One: I wanted to say that the significance of the black coffee/white coffee wasn't about yin-yang kinda thing… it was to show that… well… it's hard to explain scratches head confused herself but I know it wasn't about yin-yang. I'll let you know further on through the fic. And reason two: I'M STOOPID. I accidentally posted chapters one thru to half of four of Beneath the surface. That wasn't supposed to happen. I erased it as soon as I found out, so those of you who read it, you'll have to wait longer for the fourth chapter. Incidentally any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. So, this is your 'I'm-a-very-sorry-stupid-person' gift. Enjoy)

She awoke. Why? What had disturbed her? A noise maybe? *_No_. * Bulma thought. *_The absence of a noise_. * The sky outside had noticeably calmed and was clear. It was a pale white blue, and the world outside glistened wetly in its just washed look. The storm had cleared everything. Except her head. She had dreamed, as she lay asleep, of Vegeta. 

He had been glowing, gold and strong. A white mist, tinged with shades of purple and red, curled itself around his feet. He looked down and the golden colour drained slowly from him. He ceased to glow. He had become a dull bronze colour and a black area had started in his chest. The mist, on the other hand, grew larger until it was a fog, surrounding him. As the blackness spread through him, Vegeta fell to his knees and the mist retreated. The blackness grew bigger, as the Saiyan curled up, until it grew too big for Vegeta to contain any longer. It spread itself along the floor, leaving Vegeta behind, transparent and devoid of colour. It stained itself nearer and nearer to him along the floor. He fell into it, silently, until he had to scream as the red needles lurking at the hole base, raised their points to the sky and impaled him on them. His mouth gaped wordlessly, as a last moan escaped his throat, and black blood ran down the crimson spikes… 

Bulma shook her head. Where was he anyway?

*****************************

Vegeta dangled in the air, sinking nearer towards the ground as his energy leaked out and the rain drummed down. He had watched the storm cry itself out and disperse nothing more than a cloud. He felt disembodied. He had vented his rage and had none left. He had nothing left. He sank lower in the sky, and became dimly aware of his badly burnt left arm and leg. It throbbed against him painfully, so he tried not to move it. He looked down and was surprised to find that he was blacking out. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed was the gaping abyss he was falling into. The rain stopped.

*****************************

The tall alien had watched the storm from a distance, impassive. He saw Vegeta enter it, had felt the mental lash he sent out and saw the Prince reappear, wounded, above the storm. He also felt his energy start to drop. 

"Stupid Saiyan." He said to himself in Namekian, and took off towards the rapidly draining ki. He arrived just in time to catch the smaller body on its way down a deep crevasse. As Piccolo flew towards Capsule Corporation, he looked down at the practically dead bundle he carried. He noticed the black and blistered flesh and scorched cloth covering Vegeta's left side. *_Stupid fool. _* He thought in Namekian. *_What does he expect if he flies into an electric storm like that? *_ Vegeta stirred as Piccolo flew and mumbled something incoherent before quieting and relaxing again. Piccolo rolled his eyes. _* What did I do to deserve this? *_ And carried on.

(Sorry shiny, happy peeps, but that's all for now. Chapter three will be out soon, but I have assessment week soon and have to revise for that. Please don't kill me, lynch me or send assorted dangerous characters to bring me to my demise so that you can resurrect my spirit and force me to complete all the fics. I suppose you can tell my job from my alias and I can and will protect myself, forcibly if I have to. And I won't kill quickly either evil cackle Ahem.)


	3. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Three

Soliloquy in the Dark

** **

Chapter Three

(Hello again peeps! Hope you liked the last installment of the fic. I'm sorry it was so short. 8(. Thank you for reviewing 8) I'm running out of pre-written work tho'. So far, all these chapters were written in one go 'when the fic was new' in my mind. As I get towards the end, I begin to run out of ideas. This is why I need feedback. If anyone has a long outline of how they think this fic should go, send them to my e-mail address and I will take a look at them. Neway, enuff blah blah blah for now. ON WITH THE FIC!!!!)

Bulma was disturbed from her reverie by an incessant ringing. *_The doorbell? Who could that be? * _She got up, answered the door and was definitely surprised to say the least. Piccolo stood there- and that in itself was surprising enough. What was worse was that he was carrying Vegeta?!?!? 

Bulma gawked, stuttering at Piccolo while pointing with a shaky hand. "Wha-wha-wha?" was all she seemed capable of saying. Piccolo sighed and went upstairs to put Vegeta down. "The stupid baka flew into lightning." Was all he said, before depositing the Ouji and flying away. Bulma shouted her thanks after him before turning round to inspect the Saiyan. She blanched at the sight of his burned and blackened skin and the taut pale look on his face. He was too pale… and his cheeks were glowing red. Bulma tentatively touched the back of her hand to the underside of his chin and raised her eyebrows. He had way too high a fever. She set to work on attaching him to a drip, keeping him warm and cleaning and dressing the huge burns down his left side.

Vegeta moaned in pain occasionally, and thrashed and screamed in a delirious sleep. Bulma couldn't understand most of what he said, but understood enough to know that it was something to do with Frieza. Vegeta's screaming got so bad that it was disrupting her sleep, and his, so she had to give him a sedative. He quieted as a result, but continued to murmur and turn as he slept.

*******************************

Vegeta was killing people. He did so blankly, like a robot or automaton. He watched, hanging in the air, with his head tilted carelessly as the masses of alien races below him wasted no time screaming and ran silently for cover. He lifted his head, sighed a little, and extended a hand. He mouthed the name of the attack wordlessly, and watched, bored, while the energy within him collected and burst from his palm, washing over the aliens like a caress. He listened to the sizzles of the bodies burning, hearing no screams for an unexplainable reason.

He suddenly came to life when he sensed the devil approaching. Turning, he saw his long-time boss and tormentor's silhouette. He leapt back, raising a hand and prepared to do to the demon what he had just done to the alien races. He looked down at his arm and saw his power running through his system. It flowed through his veins, replacing his blood and burning ever so slightly. He overcame his shock at this new development, spread his palm and willed the energy to leave him, to burn through his adversary as surely as his blood pumped through his body.

The energy jumped from the ball it had formed in his palm, aimed itself at the monster and… entered him. The demon chuckled, a disturbing sound, as the energy just shot flowed into him and became part of **_his_** blood, mingling with **_his_** life source, as if it was his own. 

"Stupid monkey," the shape hissed. "You are mine…"

He re-shaped the energy and threw it back at Vegeta.

"…And I possess you, and everything inside you…"

It hit him full force, and burned his chest. Vegeta felt the pain but didn't fall.

"…Including your power…"

As the monster floated closer, Vegeta felt the energy running through him begin to collect in his hands, leaving the rest of him dark and barren.

"…Your spirit…"

The familiar burn and lust for victory, the very essence of his personality that marked Vegeta as a Saiyan, followed the path of his power. Vegeta felt himself grow hollow.

"… And your soul."

The power and fire in Vegeta's hands burst out of him violently, reaching out and hitting the laughing monster opposite him, who swallowed it all in. Vegeta screamed till his throat was raw, as it burnt out of him. He threw his head back and his scream reached a new volume. His eyes flashed silver briefly before power poured out of them also, needing another outlet other than his hands. It poured out of his mouth, and Vegeta writhed as it coursed thorough him, trying to regain control of this electric and feral power that **_was him._** A link remained between the two; a bridge of power after the brunt of it had passed through the now weakened warrior.

"If I am to own you though, I must take care of you."

The devil continued.

"So here is part of me, that once was you."

A new power poured up to Vegeta's hands. Unlike the fiery burn of his own, this burned with coldness so profound; it would freeze your very blood.

"After you receive this gift you will be able to join me. You cannot become soulless on your own. Everyone is born with a soul."

The foul creature in front of him said the word as if it were a plague, or a pestilence that needed to be eradicated. Vegeta could barely listen over the incessant wails of the cold power, trying to be let in, begging to house itself within Vegeta.

"You need one Vegeta. I have taken yours and you must take mine. Listen to it. It was yours once. It can be again. It wants to course through your veins once again. You must accept it. For you are too weak to live without one."

Vegeta resisted the power battling into him and shrieked out in his mind.

* I'm not weak. I would rather… survive without one than… take back what is mine… now tarnished with your…own! *

So saying, he pushed back as hard as he could and sent the cold energy back into its source. 

"YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE!!!!"

The monster screamed before it disappeared.

"Maybe," Vegeta panted. "But it's my mistake to make."

Vegeta suddenly noticed that he had fallen to his knees on the ground, unable to get up. He looked around, surrounded by the souls of the dead by his hand.

You may have been stronger than us in life. They choked out. But in this place, we are stronger. 

"Wait!" Vegeta cried. "What must I do to return to myself?"

The souls laughed. It's not what you have to do, but what we must do. But know this…

The souls began to disappear, and stopped laughing. 

We can never forgive you. 

*******************************

Bulma leapt up. Someone was in the room with her. She spun around only to confront… a chest? Looking up, she saw that Piccolo had returned.

"Piccolo? What are you doing here?"

Piccolo held out a hand and dropped a bag into hers.

"Korin told me to give these to you." The stoic Namek rumbled. "They'll help the 'King of Idiots' here get better."

Bulma reached into the bag and pulled out… "A senzu bean! Thanks Pic…"

It was too late for thanks. The Namek had left as suddenly as he had come.

Now all Bulma had to do was give Vegeta the miraculous little bean and he would be out of her hair again.

_*He won't be lying around anymore. *_ Bulma thought. *_So then… why do I feel so bad? *_

_ _

That was a long one!!! This was written off the top off my head. I usually plan these things but.. hey. If you leave your e mail when you r/r I will send you a very short presentation on what amusing things can happen when Vegeta gets bored. Uh-oh. Chapter Four will be out soon. I would really love some e mailed help for the rest of this fic tho'. Thanx great people. 8)

_ _


	4. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Four

Soliloquy in the Dark

# Chapter Four

Just realised that I forgot to put a disclaimer on both Chapter's One and Two. AGHHHH. I realised this at about the same time some very expensive looking people in black suits came to my door and took every electronical item in my room as compensation. So, to prevent this happening again. I OWN ZILCH, NUTHIN' BUTTKISS, ZERO! Am I getting through to people here?

Also, once again a Ha-yuge Th-yank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. You are all shiny happy people 8)

## Bulma stared at the little bean in the palm of her hand and wondered to herself how such a tiny object could make so much difference. The little beans had been very significant in various battles for the protection, not only of Earth, but also of her friends. She wondered what the senzu plants themselves looked like. Did the beans grow above or below ground? Did they come in pods? What were the flowers like? These tiny legumes could mean life or death. They not only restored energy, but were also the basic source of life. She wondered suddenly, if that was where they got their ability to heal? Maybe they were a channel of the growing power of everything natural into the bodies of her warrior friends, a sort of 'job perk' maybe, in return for protecting the Earth.

Bulma was shaken from her daydreaming by a sobbing noise of loss or regret from Vegeta. He was still dreaming. Bulma tried to wake him up to give him the senzu, but he wasn't responding. Finally, she decided that, as she had plenty of the beans, she could try out a little experiment with them. She used a pestle and mortar to grind down the hard little bean and then added it to water to make a solution. She transferred the liquid to Vegeta's drip and waited to see if it would have any effect.

**************************

Vegeta screamed a question to the massing souls, so that he could be heard above their wails of ridicule and condemnation.

"What do you mean?" he cried. "What has your forgiveness got to do with my soul?"

The corpses hissed and explained. 

To redeem your soul, the acts of carnage and mass murder that you have committed must be forgiven. You, Prince of a dead race, have destroyed millions. Our bodies burned in the heat of your violence and hate, the children screamed as you killed their parents in front of them, parents wailed in anguish as you stole or massacred their children, lovers hearts were ripped apart before they had a chance to grow. Your blood-saturated hands extinguished the essences of whole planets. They cried in agony as you blasted them apart piece by piece, purged them as if the healthy life they supported were nothing more than a pestilence or plague, but above all, you did all this with your own life's energy. This is why we can never forgive you. 

Vegeta listened to this and protested.

"I did this by another's order. I would have been killed if I had not done this and revenge for my own people had to be taken. This is not justice."

The souls breathed back their reply. 

Ahhh, but it would have been better to sacrifice your own life for the price of others, would it not? Your life and the lives of your people are a light price compared to the expense of the lives of those peoples and planets you have taken. There was no justice there and the justice here balances those scales. You owe us a debt Vegeta. And now that you have no soul of your own, we must find another acceptable way for you to pay it. 

As they said this, Vegeta realised that the reason why he always felt that he was unacceptable, that he could do so much better, was because that most important part of him was missing. How could he perform tasks to the best of his abilities if he was weak inside? Although his race was not overly religious, they did have some beliefs, and the belief that their life energy was the pinpoint of their capabilities was a strong one. Saiyans were classed by power level. The source of their power is their ki, and ki is another term for spirit. *_That's why I've never been able to reach my goal of Super-Saiyan! * Vegeta said to himself. *__If I don't have a spirit, how can my power level ever rise to that? *_

As he realised this, he found himself let out a sob of remorse and loss for a substance that he could never get back, and a goal lost. For these souls would never forgive him.

Then he remembered the monster's words.

_"For you are too weak to live without one."_

If he was too weak to live without a soul, and if he didn't have one, then how was it that he had the strongest power level on Earth? And how, then, had he survived for this long? He felt his strength return to him and hoisted himself up, resolved.

"I have lived," he said, punctuating his words by beating the corpses out of his way. "…For a long time under the reign of someone else." he flew up above them and powered up. "So if I don't have a soul now, and I didn't have a soul then…" he vaporised them and after their yells had stopped, looked down and whispered. "… I think I can manage without one."

Vegeta carried on rising and the last thing he heard before waking was a voice on the wind… _we can never forgive you._

**************************

Bulma heard Vegeta gasp before his eyes snapped open and he bolted upright. Before he could shout at him to sit back down, he did so anyway, groaning a little in pain. Bulma laughed happily and Vegeta glared at her.

"What's so funny, Onna?"

Bulma ignored what he had called her and instead began to jump up and down chanting.

"It worked, it worked, it worked, it worked. I am a genius!!!"

Vegeta looked at her sideways; the expression on his face showing that he clearly thought that she had cracked. He decided to humour her.

"What worked, baka?"

Bulma stopped jumping, came up to him and poked him in the arm, making him wince. "For your information, Oh Thick One, I managed to make a senzu solution and give it to you while you were unconscious. It's the stuff in that drip. It must take longer to work when it's diluted like that, but at least it works anyway!"

Vegeta 'humphed' at her but didn't retort. He was too busy thinking about his dream. Although he did not believe that dreams actually meant anything, he knew that that had been too vivid and coherent to be a simple dream. He decided that, as Saiyans could use telepathy, and he especially being of royal blood, it must have been a telepathic message of some sort. This meant that what had transpired in his mind had some semblance of truth to it. If this was so… Vegeta cringed inside. A tremendous feeling of loss or expectancy or longing suddenly settled in his mind. He was alone now; he had no soul and could never reach his full potential. As soon as he thought this he began to feel depressed.

Bulma, confused but not too unhappy with her patients silence, turned to the bag of senzus and gave Vegeta a solid one. He took it complacently and sat up. He began unwrapping his bandages as Bulma cleared up. He finally talked to her to ask a question.

"How did I get here anyway?" he asked, distractedly.

"Piccolo brought you in." Bulma replied.

"That green freak beat me?" Vegeta queried, confused.

Bulma spun on her heel and snapped at him. "Watch how you talk about 'that green freak'. He brought you home after your stupid stunt."

"Huh?" Vegeta was really lost now.

"You know that storm you so happily flew into? It decided that your stupidity should not go unrewarded and you got hit by lightning. Don't you remember?" Bulma asked.

Vegeta looked blank until it suddenly came back to him, and his eyes lit up in remembrance.

Bulma was still questioning him. "Why didn't you avoid it anyway?" she had asked.

"I was distracted." he growled through clenched teeth, also remembering exactly why he had been there in the first place.

"By what?" Bulma questioned.

Vegeta came out of it. "None of your business." He snapped.

Bulma was about to retort but Vegeta didn't give her the chance, pushing past her and walking out the door. Bulma seethed after him. "Why that good for nothing low down dirty…" she grumbled to herself.

She stared after his retreating back and found herself thinking, *_I wonder what was wrong with him? * Before shaking her head and finishing up._

Phew! That was a long one. All in one go too. You know how it is when you get really into it. Please e-mail me any long suggestions/questions and I will try to reply. If you read and review and leave your e-mail address, I will send you another pressie, and I promise it won't be 'The Flood'. If you haven't got 'The Flood' and want it (_I don't know why you would want it!) e-me and I'll send it. Oh, and also check out my sister Cade VD's fic. I know she'll love it if she gets reviews and I know that my regular reviewers always give helpful reviews. Hi all you guys! You know who you are. (It's really good as well.)_


	5. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Five

Soliloquy in the Dark

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: For once, the disclaimer is coming first. And I actually remembered it this time. I own soooo many of the DBZ characters. No, really. And I'm stinking rich, and there goes a flying pig.

Thanx to everyone who reviewed my last fic. You are once again, shiny-happy people. I need to get a new way to thank you don't I. Sorry about the late posting of the last fic, but we were really busy. I was also recently banned from the net except for 20 mins to read e's and then the comp went down anyway as a result of NTL getting something wrong and also bcoz of my da's networking. Instead of the usual pressie 2 everyone who reviews, you can give me a request and I'll try to make it. Sayonara.

Vegeta had retreated to the relative safety of the roof. He wasn't about to let Bulma delve so far into his inner thoughts at the moment. He didn't want anyone to know too much about him at all. Once you let people understand you, you were immediately putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. If people knew how to manipulate you, he had learned, they would, and allowing someone to have that kind of power over you was something that could be fatal to someone in Vegeta's former line of work… Frieza had shown him that anyway. 

Frieza hadn't understood the boy Vegeta had once been, but Frieza's own creation, the killer he had become was a product of Frieza's own doing and the manipulative powers he had beaten into his creation was enormous.

Vegeta hugged his knees and stared at nothing. Was what he had heard true? Did he really not have a soul? Growling, he scolded himself. What a stupid question. It didn't need to be asked. Whether or not his soul existed was of no consequence to him. As long as he was alive and strong was all that mattered. He had been very depressed lately, but thinking of the past wasn't going to change it. Frieza was no longer around and he had a goal to reach. He was determined to show that he could reach his goal no matter what, and the absence of his soul would not hold him back. He stood up resolutely. He still had his power. He could fulfill his people's legends and that would silence the corpses in his dreams once and for all.

****************************

Bulma had made herself a well-deserved cup of coffee and was sitting at the kitchen table drinking it. She didn't know where Vegeta was and neither did she care. He hadn't thanked her after she had gone to all that effort to help him, but she wasn't going to let him get at her. He wanted a rise out of her and she'd kill herself before she gave him the satisfaction of seeing her completely lose it over something so trivial. She had other things on her mind. Like what she was going to do to fill her days now?

She had been busy with work after she had finally dumped Yamcha, but now that she had perfected a new model she had nothing left to do. She drummed her fingers on the table and absently took another sip of her coffee. *_Maybe I could go see_ _what the others are doing? _* She thought. She hadn't seen Tien or Chaot-zu or any of the others in ages. And Goku was still missing. *_I wonder when he's going to come back. Poor Chichi. I know she misses him_. * Her friend had been pretty down since she had heard that Goku didn't want to come back. She decided that the best way to spend her time would be to make her friend get out a bit. She had been cooped up in that house for too long. *_I know…_ * Bulma thought. *_We'll go down to a karate class or something. That way we can both stay fit and know some of what or friends are doing. It's always a good idea to know how to defend yourself. _* 

So saying, she finished her coffee and phoned her friend.

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Chichi sighed as she collapsed into an armchair. She had spent most of the day cleaning up, making dinner and trying to get Gohan to study and she was exhausted. It seemed that she was tired all the time nowadays. She turned her head towards a picture of her wayward husband and picked it up. She stared at it for a long time, milling hundreds of thoughts in her mind. 

*_When is he going to come back? Hasn't he been away for long enough without staying out in space for Kami knows what reason. And in the meantime, Gohan's growing up without a father. He needs a role model. Not that a man who abandons his family to stay in space is much of a role model. *_

Chichi was confused when she saw a bead of water drip onto the glass and roll slowly down the front of the picture. She realized she was crying, silently, but in streams. Since she had heard that Goku had opted to stay in space, she had struggled to stay her grief until he came home. She wanted to show him how much grief he was putting her through. But although she was a strong, she couldn't keep it up forever. So she finally broke down and cried to herself. Alone in an armchair with only a picture of the person she wanted to be with more than life itself.

I'm sorry this chapter was so short people, but I'm having major, major writer's block as far as this fic is concerned. I can do one of a few things. I can carry on writing as much as possible, but the chapters will be out less quickly and the standard will go down. I could post a few chapters of my other fic until I get on top of this one. I would gladly receive any short dialogue, etc, to get me rolling, or I'll wait until I get on top of things and then post the next chapter, which may take a while depending on how the block goes. Sup to you people. See ya.


	6. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Six

Solioquy in the Dark

Chapter Six

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, SORRY! I am soooooooo sorry that this part hasn't been out for yonx but I was banned from the Internet and have only just recently been allowed on at the weekend. Have fun with this chapter. I just picked up it's track again… re reading this thing helps to clear up writers block.

*_I can't do it. *_

Vegeta lay face down in the midst of his last attack and shut his eyes. He sighed heavily and laid his head on his folded arms. He still kept his face to the floor. He didn't want to face _anything. As long as he hid here… __Hid!!!!_

Okay, that was it. Enough was enough. It was stupid of him to go on this way, he wanted to hide, _hide for crying out loud, from the world. He was giving up, and it sickened him._

* _It's not enough that I've lost it all, but now I've lost my spirit. I'm pathetic! This is wrong. I am a Saiyan Prince; I was supposed to be admired for being the best of the Saiyan. I'm supposed to represent the rest of the Saiyan race. And here I am lying on my stomach, in a machine built by a baka Chikyuu-jin, on an insignificant planet that was only worth sending a third-class brat to take it over! *_

Vegeta was angry, it bubbled up inside him, wanting to be let out. He decided against it. He had gotten very good at suppressing his rage, saving it up for more useful purposes later, while he was with Frieza.

* _But you're not with him any more. *_

A little voice inside him said.

* _Why are you still acting as if you are? *_

He was angry and he was disgusted with himself… and yet he didn't get up. He was suddenly confused and very, very tired. He felt it in his… well… maybe not his soul, but definitely in his bones, in his blood, in his mind. He was exhausted. That didn't make sense either. He had made sure that he had gotten enough sleep after his storm- induced injury, and he hadn't been training for very long. He was adept at staying awake for long periods of time without sleeping. At the end of one of those especially long stretches he sometimes felt like this. He couldn't remember being this tired after the amount of sleep he had had.

He was doing nothing but confusing himself more, leaving unanswered questions. And the feeling of exhaustion, the weariness that was as heavy as the dead felt it continued to press on him. He curled his body up a bit more… it was cold in this room… and tried to sleep.

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Bulma walked up the path to the front door. She and Chichi had been able to release most of their stress and aggression in the class. As Chichi was more experienced in fighting than she herself was, she had been giving the more difficult class, although they were both in the same room.

Bulma surprised herself by knowing more about karate than she had expected. She supposed that she must have picked it up form her warrior friends. She felt much more… relaxed now. 

She wondered why that was. She knew for a fact that Vegeta was never this good-humoured after he had been training. Mind you she couldn't tell if he was ever in a good mood. Most of he time he was either scowling at the world or smirking at it… and there was something distinctly un-humoured about that smirk. It ridiculed the world around him and, although this was subtle, it was sometimes self-mocking.

*_Which doesn't make sense. *_

The Ouji was so arrogant and proud there was probably no room left in him for self-hate.

Bulma realised that she had been standing outside the door for a good few minutes, and she quickly let herself in.

She soon realised that she had nothing to do. Dinner had been made and she had no projects to go on with. She picked up a magazine and flicked through it, but put it down again ten minutes later, not wanting to hear about the love problems of other people after she herself had just… 

But she didn't want to go into that now. She no longer cared. That chapter of her life was over. Bulma sighed. That wasn't worth getting depressed about.

She was young, beautiful and had her whole life ahead of her. She suddenly felt better.

*_I am the only heir to Capsule Corps. And I have enough sense in my head to know when I am beaten. And I am far from beaten. _*

She relaxed. Reaffirmation of who you were was one of the best ways to lose your blues. While she had that little bit of stability in her life she could ignore the yawning gap inside her spirit. But she was still bored.

Her recent train of thought led her to think of another being in the house that seemed to be acting differently. A bit depressed as well. She couldn't really tell, of course, he never showed her what he was really thinking… or did he? That was the problem. She didn't know how much of his attitude was a façade, or even if that was his real face. However, she didn't think that anyone could live being so… emotionless and cold. And she had seen him show at least _some_ emotion when he had been injured. And he appeared to feel depression.

She didn't stop to wonder why she was following this train of thought, although she subconsciously came to the conclusion that it was because her mind was too bored. He didn't have any thing to affirm in the way that she did, the storm incident showed that. So how was he dealing with it? Maybe there was some secret Saiyan way that she didn't know about… but then Goku never hid pain when he felt it. But then Goku wasn't raised on Vejiitasei. *_ But then, neither was Vegeta. *_ She again ignored the feeling that came with this, the pang of something, echoing hollowly in the void that replaced the space Yamcha used to occupy. *_Maybe he's not dealing with it. *_ She thought, and frowned. She knew that it was bad to let whatever was bothering you fester inside, because sooner or later it would take you over.

She decided that she would find the miserable alien and go cheer him up. The last time she had seen him he had… jumped out the window. That wasn't helpful. So, she decided to go to where he usually hung out and see if she could find him around there. She began to walk towards the gravity machine room.

Hope your happy peeps. That's all 4 now. Again I am very, very sorry for not getting this chapter out sooner, but I have been tied up and locked-down. I finally got rid of the writer's bock… thank you to everyone who gave me so much help. I couldn't have done this chapter without you (Hi to Prime Minister, Golden Shadow and any1 else who e's me)


	7. Soliloquy in the Dark- Chapter Seven

Soliloquy in the Dark

Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING Dragonball Z except a sticker of Vegeta that Fi-chan got me from Tenerife.

Again, Im sorry this is out late, but A-levels are hard. L Chapter seven just 4 U peeps. Enjoy, and don't forget to R/R.

Vegeta growled in frustration. He was so tired that his head throbbed and his jaw ached from yawning, but he still couldn't sleep. He turned onto his front and pillowed his head in his arms, pulling a knee up to keep warm. He still couldn't sleep. He was going to give it up and go inside when he heard a voice in his head. He knew that voice! It brought back faded memories and long-forgotten emotions. A sense of security- something that was seriously lacking in his life at the moment- comfort and warmth. He briefly wondered how it was that he knew what comfort felt like. He remembered glimpses of images, faded like old pictures. Cloth. A bed. Hair that was raven black in colour. A pair of eyes, soft and shimmering slightly. A tail. He heard a long forgotten tune echo in is head and the touch of a hand, ghostly in its lightness, on his cheek. He felt the sensation of being carried, cradled. Safe. At peace. He slept.

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Bulma had become worried after she couldn't find Vegeta in the gravity room. She wandered the upper floor of Capsule Corps. Without finding anything. So she was relieved, although subconsciously, when she discovered the short Prince sleeping under a tree in the garden. He was curled up tightly and seemed peaceful. As she approached across the cut grass, he shifted slightly and sighed softly before relaxing again. Bulma got closer. He was definitely asleep. His face was, for once, free from his constant scowl or smirk, making him seem younger. He was also smaller than she had at first thought, without the aura he seemed to project around himself continually.

Bulma's brow furrowed in thought as she tried to figure out why he was out here and not inside or in the gravity room, where he normally slept. She soon gave up trying to puzzle it out and decided to wake him up, reaching out and gripping his shoulder. She felt something upon contact; something cold and insubstantial suddenly flit away. She heard a snatch of tune that she vaguely remembered from a time once before.

A hand snapped up and caught her arm just above her elbow, pulling her down, the other hand moving towards her throat. She went absolutely still, feeling the pressure increase slightly on her neck. It would be fatal for her if it got any greater. She watched warily as Vegeta- opened his eyes!!! She felt weak. He wasn't even awake and he could have killed her!

Vegeta appeared to realise what was going on and quickly let go of her, sitting up and yawning. Bulma stumbled and then stood as he pushed her away from him slightly. Her fear quickly solidified into anger. It was hard to be scared of someone sitting on the floor yawning so widely that the top of his head almost came off.

"Keep your hands to yourself, bakayaro." She yelled at him.

He looked slightly confused for a second, before the usual mask slipped on and he snapped back, "I could say the same thing."

Bulma put her hands on her hips and glared down at him. "What? What are you talking about? You're the one with your hands around someone else's neck."

Vegeta apparently didn't appreciate her height advantage over him because he stood up. It didn't do him much good, as he was still shorter than she was but it was better than before.

"I was in the gravity room before… and now I'm here. I didn't et up and walk so you must have…"

He got no further than this when Bulma decided to cut in.

# "ME! TOUCH YOU! Not even in your dreams." She yelled.

Vegeta slapped his hands over his ears and closed his eyes in pain. The next time he opened them, she had stalked off, like an annoyed lioness.

'_Baka onna.'_ He mumbled to himself before standing up. He swayed slight on his feet and glared at them irritably. He was still tired and he wasn't going to help himself out here. He decided to go indoors and sleep on the couch, conveniently forgetting to ponder the mystery of how he had ended up under the tree in the first place.

Did that slake ya thirst slightly? PLZ, PLZ, PLZ review CadeVD's fic. It's really good and she is getting sad about it. I have about three other fics also on the way and I will begin posting them as soon as I think it's good to. Bye 4 now. J


	8. Soliloquy in the Dark-Chapter Eight

Soliloquy in the Dark

Soliloquy in the Dark

Chapter Eight

huddled in a corner rocking back and forth and peering out from under her hair imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry…

Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin mate. Dat aint mine! It just fell offa backa dat lorry, dinnit. It belongs to some Japanese guy dunnit. 0_o

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Vegeta went into the house and allowed himself to fall into the couch, stretching out and yawning before relaxing back, one arm hanging towards the floor, one foot dangling over the edge of the sofa arm.

He lay for a little while, not really thinking of anything in particular, he was too tired.

The next thing he knew, he was wandering down endlessly long and turning maroon corridors, which weren't as bad as the grey floor. He walked meanderingly down along, not knowing where he was going and following a monotonous mantra from far off in the distance. It had started out as a heady thrum of sound, but it cleared as he got nearer till he heard what it was saying. '_bugs on me-bugs on me-bugs on me-bugs on me...'. This nonsensical chant echoed and_reverberated in its muttering low pitch.

As Vegeta followed it he found himself moving away from the door he was trying to reach. Or rather, that it was moving away from him. Each step he took forward made the door retreat. Thinking this over, he began walking backwards. Just as he had suspected, the door began moving towards him until it was suddenly behind him. He stepped backwards into it and found himself staring at the back of what looked like a doctor of some sort, with it's arms stretched out. The arm was moving strangely as the man chanted.

When his vision had adjusted to the light in this room, Vegeta saw that the arm was covered in thousands of tinymisshapen mice. They were removing the arm that was there and were replacing it with a smaller one. It was quite possibly the most horrible thing Vegeta had ever seen. As he turned to leave, the doctor figure spoke in a language un-known to Vegeta.

To his mounting horror, the mice-like beasts started swarming towards where he stood. A door had materialised where the door had previously been. He was trapped! He turned and faced the tiny monsters, aiming a powerful ki blast at them, but they withstood it. They formed themselves into a large, cloaked figure, which advanced menacingly towards the Saiyan Prince.

Vegeta suddenly found that he had lost all control over his ki power. He was helpless against the power of these things. He pressed himself as far as he could into the wall, an action that triggered something deep inside him, something that would only make itself known when he was conscious again. As he braced himself for the oncoming hit, he heard the melodious singing that he had heard earlier, that voice that had also conjured up forgotten feelings of sanctuary. He felt, rather than saw, the new but familiar presence encloak itself around him, and he suddenly felt more safe than he had ever felt. He dropped into a deeper sleep.

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Bulma had been more than scared when she realised how closely she had come to being killed. She had been petrified. Although she could let that hit her now, the kind of psychological make-up that she had, irrepressible and aggressive, had transformed that terror into anger. It hadn't been as if Vegeta was some unknown enemy, like Zarbon had been for instance, because then she had cowered, uncertainty making her fear.

She felt that Vegeta owed her something; after all, she had extended the hand of Capsule Corps. hospitality towards him, even though he tried to kill everyone she cared about. So, she had slipped into anger mode, the mind-set that she had come to adopt as second nature in her dealings with the volatile and mulish Prince.

Now, however, it was just sinking into her that he had almost taken her life, while asleep! It made her realise that Vegeta wasn't only the diminutive, complaining, egotistical brat that she had classified him as. She suddenly remembered that he had once been working for one of the most powerful tyrants in the galaxy, and that he had probably taken thousands of lives before coming to Earth, probably even planets. And all this while, she had been baiting a naturally argumentative and combat-loving alien who controlled power beyond her imagining, enough to do her damage even if he wasn't as powerful as Goku.

So it must be true then. The only reason he hadn't yet killed her was because she was useful to him tactically.She decided that she would try and stay out of his way from now on, even though she wasn't going to creep about like some kind of timid animal in her own house. But, she supposed, to avoid being almost killed again, she would stop looking for an argument from him. Shame though, it had been fun while it had lasted.

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I hope your not too mad at me cringes. I've had a hard time getting back up on this. Luckily, I've now got a comp in my room, so I can work on this fic more often without... ahem... 'spectators' watching me. That SO puts me off. GO READ SOLO_MAXWELLS FICS, OR ELSE!!! Cade VD would also benefit from some RnR'ing. =)

Peace, out.


	9. Soliloquy in the Dark-Chapter Nine

Soliloquy in the Dark

Chapter Nine

                This is going pretty badly if I do say so myself. Are you getting bored of this? I have a plotline, it's just hidden under a lot of angst and confusion. Neway, here's chapter nine for you. Would it help if I put a summary of the last chapter here? If most people think it will, I'll do it on the next chapter, okay.

                Go see:- Solo Maxwell, Kath_Molko, Demon Spawn and CadeVD's (now vegx[c4th3r1n3]xgie ) fics, they're all cool ppl.

Go to Prime Minister's Website to see a fic that I haven't posted here. It's called Phoenix Warriors. (Thank you PrimeMinister, u my m8 4 life ;) )

**                Disclaimer:- I don't own Dragonball Z, or any of the characters within it. I do however, own a copy of Staind's album Break the Cycle, which is really good for inspiration if your an angst author. Go buy it!**

**Enough advertising. On with the fic!!!**

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            Vegeta woke up with pins and needles in the arm hanging off the sofa arm, but feeling incredibly rested. He hadn't had such a good sleep since... well he couldn't remember. And that dream last night... even as he shuddered at the thought of what he had seen, he felt an unfamiliar glow spread through him as he also remembered the feeling of comfort, of being cradled away from harm in loving arms. It was such a beautiful feeling, made all the more intense with the fact that he hadn't experienced that feeling of being protected in for so long that he had forgotten what it felt like. It was a new experience, and he loved it.

            But then he realised that he couldn't feel that anymore unless he was asleep. He sat up and crossed his arms in his normal way, hugging himself unconsciously to try and trap some of the warmth that had stirred in his soul. It didn't work. He got up, feeling slightly betrayed, and walked out to train.

            He couldn't see the wraith-like form that flitted anguishedly before him and then retreated, exhausted and weak. For now.

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            Bulma threw down the screwdriver with a growl of frustration. It bounced up and flew at her. She 'eeped' and threw her arms up instinctively in front of her face. The object hit her just above her elbow and clattered harmlessly to the floor.

            Bulma hissed her breath in as she bent her arm round to examine the damage. The pointed end of the screwdriver had nicked her, and it was bleeding slightly. It wasn't too bad though. It would have to be disinfected, but she could get away without a plaster.

            She took this as a signal that she should go downstairs for a break, as she had been working all day. She stretched her arms up above her head and bent backwards to stretch all her unused muscles, and then got up to have a wash and make a snack.

            She washed her face, making sure to get rid of all the grease and examining it for wrinkles. No. She was still as fresh-faced as she had been all those years ago, when her hair was still purple and she was still exploring the rest of the world.

            She sighed at the thought of lost youth, but then brightened as she remembered that she had grown up to be one of the most lusted after and gorgeous women in the world. It wasn't all bad.

                Except, maybe, that she was lonely. Sure she could have any one of the suitors that had come up to her, and she had had a few short flings with a couple of the cute ones... and then she got Yamcha, and then she dropped Yamcha, and now she couldn't seem to find the right kind of guy. They were all too weak, mentally and physically. She needed the right amount of balance, she needed to be given her space and she also needed excitement in her life. She didn't want to become a trophy wife for some rich guy, who could brag about having 'caught' the wilful Miss Briefs.

            Ha. She wouldn't be hunted. She would hunt. She'd find the perfect guy and marry him, and he wouldn't be using her for her power either.

            She sighed. Such wistful dreams. She'd never find the man she'd love.

            She disinfected the small cut, went downstairs and began to cook up some rice.

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            The following day, routine went on as normal. Bulma's dad and mum went about the house on their own business, Bulma alternately worked, chatted and relaxed while Vegeta trained and ate and trained some more and ate some more. Bulma and Vegeta avoided each other as much as possible, but Bulma still pondered the implications of Vegeta's morose mood and Vegeta continued to have little luck in sleeping.

            Things would have continued as normal until Doctor Brief's 'great discovery'.

            He had run into the kitchen while Bulma, her mother and, strangely enough Vegeta, were sitting, eating or leaving with food respectively.

            "I've finally done it! Finally! After so many years of, of little or no contact, excluding our current guest, I've finally managed it. This will put us on the map!" He picked up his blonde wife and twirled her, nearly upsetting his omnipresent black cat.

            "That's great honey." She smiled. "But, er. What exactly have you done?"

            He straightened his coat and smiled at them all.

            "I've made contact with an alien species."

            His response was slightly anticlimactic.

            "Oh. Well, that's great dad." Bulma started. "But, we've already met loads of alien species. We even have one living in our house." She pointed a finger at Vegeta who snarled at her.

            "Besides old man." Vegeta continued. "Contacting other races is no big deal. We had intergalactic communicators on Frieza's ship and we frequently made contact with other aliens on our travels. I even had an… experience, with a race of bugs on a planet not far from here, as the space pod flies."

            "Meaning you exterminated them?" Bulma stated.

            Vegeta's expression darkened and he said nothing, looking away from Bulma. Bulma, in turn, was both angry and afraid at Vegeta's unspoken admittal, but she couldn't help but wonder why he had chosen to withdraw into himself now. She had known that he had been a 'planet- purger' and that he had the blood of thousands staining his hands, but his reluctance to boast about his 'accomplishments' was uncharacteristic of him.

            She had a brief moment of guilt for bringing his past up, and also wondered if this might even mean that he felt guilty about his past actions. But she quickly stifled this little voice and concentrated on what her dad was saying.

            "Yes… well, as far as Earth technology is concerned this could be a breakthrough. We received a transmission from a planet on the opposite side of the co-ordinations plotted for Goku's trip to Namek. It's untranslatable at the moment, but we have expert linguistics working on it as we speak."

            Vegeta snorted. To him, meeting with new alien cultures wasn't anything to write home about, but he did wonder about that side of the universe that he hadn't explored while under Frieza's command. He was also, and this was a more important point, very, _very _bored.

            "I'll help."

            Doctor Briefs looked shocked and Bulma turned to him with her mouth open, about to say something.

            "I'm bored and I was good at that in Frieza's army. It might even be Space Standard, which I bet you don't even know. Do you?"

            "Ummm, well, err…" Doctor Brief's stammered as his mind raced ahead of him, thinking of the possibilities an alien who knew other alien languages might have.

            "Exactly. So show me this 'alien language' then."

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            Hours later, the alien code had been decrypted and had started playing through the headphones that Vegeta was wearing. He nodded as he listened, pausing the audio and telling Doctor Brief's that it was Space Standard. Dr. Brief's almost hugged the Sayain as he heard this. Vegeta went back to listening.

            As he did so, his face grew blanker and paler until he was expressionless. If it hadn't been for the fact that he had gone almost white, you wouldn't have known anything was wrong. He took the headphones off with shaky hands and put them down on the table before standing and turning to face the doctor.

            The little old man stood, hands clasped in barely contained excitement as he asked, "Well? What did it say? Who are they? Are they friendly?"

            Vegeta didn't answer as he played the message through his own head.

            *_Help us! … We need help desperately … a hostile takeover, repeat we are experiencing a hostile takeover …  help desperately needed … Scorpion terrorists … King Kold's dead … for the love of Kami, someone HELP!!! *_

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Oooo, cliff-hanger (!) Yeah, whatever. I have no excuse for not posting sooner, not even A-levels, coz I could've posted before now. But, at least the chapter is out now. And plot is happening… gasp… shock, horror!  If you are of drinking age in the UK (18) go see Talentless's fics too, they make ppl cry and junk. Mwa, mwa, luv u all, don't let the terrible, soul crushing pressures of life get u down. : )


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